Sports Attitude; Too Much Respect- Ask Dr. Leman 73

Have you noticed your kids picking up some bad traits from sports or another activity? How about your star student who is disrespectful at home? What do you do about it? 

Question #1 Michelle:

I have an 11 year old daughter who, although very athletically talented, she is uncoachable, very moody and emotional. This affects the whole team and life at home. What should we do?

Dr. Leman’s Answer:

You have a drama queen who is trying to get attention. She is following two older sisters, so by stirring the pot, she finds that she gets attention.

The question you asked is, "Shall we pull her out of sports?"

First, I would not pull her out mid-season because this affects the whole team.
However, I would:
1. Give the coach authority to pull her out for disrespect
2. Tell her you are disappointed with her behavior
3. Revisit it next season!

The best predictor of the future is to look at the past.
Use this to have her think about her future, and hold her accountable to change. Create a written contract with her for the next season.

Question #2 Khrysten:

I have 8 and 6 year old "star student" daughters at school, but are extremely disrespectful at home through communication. We are trying different things to correct it, but it isn’t getting better.

Dr. Leman’s Answer:

This is not a phase, but the beginning of a journey, you should stop it ASAP.
Anytime they are disrespectful to you or anyone in the home, you should remove them from the scene--put them outside, separate rooms, etc.
Leave them there for 30 minutes.
Tell them you are disappointed.
Tell them you don't feel like doing what they are asking.
Let them apologize.



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